Here I am.
Sitting in my best friend's room,
I JUST finished a 3 hour Sim marathon.
Aaaand thats basically the biggest update I can give you.
Summer BLOWS. I don't get to see the people I want to see like I usually do! Like, before. I had all these reasons to talk to this guy I liked because he sat across from me in first period, and now... On msn, what the heck do I talk about? It's just the awkward small talk that gets no one anywhere. Therefore, I don't even bother.
And all these effing man troubles are popping up with people lately! Guys are ignoring, becoming boring, not putting all the effort they should in their relationships. Honestly, it's not worth it. They should know by now that doing that will just build up and explode in thier face. And then there are the guys that lead you on, thinking you've got a relationship in lock, then they decide to dissappear off the face of the Earth? Like whatever! I don't know of a girl that would do that!... I've heard of them though. Not the point! Only a selfish pig of a guy would pull these stunts. It's frustrating.
I know I'm not the only one when I say this, but I'm having troubles deciding over a guy.
I don't know if it's because my want for a relationship is pathetic, or if it's the fact that he's the only guy that stuck around through all my crap, but I can't seem to think of more con's than pro's with this guy. The good things make up for like... 5 of the bad things.. but then again, I find there's a lot of bad things. Like breaking up for example, I might as well decide to bury myself alive. I don't know... I've asked my brother-like friend about this... And he was pretty damn honest. It kind of hurt at times, lol, but I asked for his blunt opinion, and I love him for not hesitating.
Music these days is becoming so bllaaaaand! There's some bands that stand out, but half of them just sound ALL the same. Eventually it'll get so bad, that the World will just have one genre of music.
Might as well by the looks of how it's going now.
Anyways, Coffee and the bed beside me is calling
Guys are so stupid.
I made the mistake of practically going out with this one guy, when I really still had feelings for my one ex. Big mistake, I know. But I confessed and it took him a while to get over it, but he agreed to still be my friend. Which is great! because we're like best buds.
But ever since that he's been constantly blowing me off and ignoring me to play his dumb xbox. I understand if what I did cut deep, but honestly, enough is enough.
I'd text him constantly asking to hang out and I'd either get "I'm busy playing xbox" or nothing. It's frustrating. I gave up too much for this kid. I had to go through about 6 cat fights with his ex to be with him, and even after we broke up, I went out with his best friend for the second time and one of the main reasons why we broke up was because he thought I was cheating on him with this kid.
And that, I might add, was one of the best relationships I had, and I had to break it off so I can be friends with him.
So all in all, I don't really think I deserve this from that kid, considering I basically isolated myself at one point to be with him. But then again, he's too wrapped up in his own emotions to realize that he's not the only one with a shitty life.
He'll sit there seething about other people and how they always seem to mistreat him but never say anything about it. Then I find out he never did forgive me for that little spoof, through a text message 3 months after.
It's too frustrating for my liking.
Yeeah... I'm getting dragged to boony land to visit my Grandma and Father. Not Dad, he lives in Galt, Father. The guy who donated his 23 chromosomes to create the best damn thing since rock and roll (... Me?). I haven't seen him since I was two, and ever since my 13th birthday I've had to go all the way up North to go visit him and my Grandma. I love my Grandma, she's too cool to be old. But he's so intimidated by me, it's sad. I can't help but poke fun at it too, I know that sounds mean! But it's all jokes when I go up there. Anyways, an entire week on an island with no internet, no computers, and no cell phone reception. I almost started to cry when I found out. I can't even bring a friend too! Effing lame. But something even worse happened now. My iPod somehow lost ALL of it's music when I loaded it onito a new iTunes. Now, I don't know if thats a no-no, but I did it anyways. I went from 299 songs, to 95. Such a sad life I lead. Wow, okay, so the other day I was surfing Mindsay, I was bored, and I came across this one person's blog, and I was the only person that's ever been on it (keep in mind that this person has been blogging since last April), and I soon understood why. The whole thing was pointless, 3 sentence blogs. they weren't even blogs, they were more like little petty thoughts that lead to stupid questions. After I felt pity for the person, I started laughing. Who honestly doesn't take that big of a hint that NO ONE CARES about what they're blogging about. It was lame crap like "I had a sandwhich today, and it was pretty good." AND THAT WAS IT. God, it made my day.
Is so much harder than it looks! I started on Saturday, and it's effing impossible. Well, it's obviously possible, because I'm somewhat getting it. But I don't know, I figured it was easier so I'd pick it up faster. So far, I can move up to 5 meters without having to start again, and I've only fallen hard once! But still, I'm having issues with my feet and positioning them and shit, and my balance is pretty bad. But I must admit, I'm getting better everytime. I'm just not ready to go public about it, like skating to school and junk.. So far it's just been me and my friend up and down my street. Still, any suggestions on how I should do this? haha, Keep in mind I want to get PRO by the time school starts again!
So... This blog has nothing to do with the title.. Thats just the song I was listening to.
But anyways.
I think I have a jealousy problem. This one girl wrote a note to this one guy I like about how much she likes him and how bad I am for him. Now, I don't know if it's just me? But I was infuriated! Not only does she already have a boyfriend and many other guys she could turn to, but she's advancing on mine! And telling him that I'm just out to hurt him, and ditch him and all this bullshit!!! And I'm sure anyone else would be mad too.. But you never know. Just like with my last, last boyfriend. He had a lot of friends that were girls and whenever I'd see them going to talk to him when I was like.. a couple meters away, I would loose it (on the inside) which then resulted to a huge trust problem and then a breakup. So, mabye it's not the guys, it might possibly be me? Yeaaah I'm thinking it is. Like, the last guy I somewhat went out with, he also had a lot of friends that were girls and I would get so mad and irritated whenever I'd see them with him. So I'd come up behind him and give him a kiss hello, then they'd get the picture that he was taken and they'd walk away. Mission accomplished in my mind. But then if that happened to me I'd just think "What a bitch". But they don't really matter in my life anyways. And nothing really worked out with me and him... Bad news, I know. But like goes on.
Now I'm convinced that it's me with the issues of the jealousy. So I'm thinking I just have to tone it down a couple notches and start trusting guys... Which is hard to do because they can be SO dumb sometimes.
Sometimes I feel like I have no friends! Like, I obviously do. But you know on that odd night when everyone BUT you is busy with other people? And you're just left there... By yourself.... Therefore you feel like a loner loser? Yeah, that's whats happening right now. But I'll get over it. My friend's picking my up later, so it'll be just a temporary feeling. My friend is finally getting a chance with a guy she's liked for so long! I didn't doubt it once, I knew they'd end up going out. It was just ment to be. I'm really happy for her! Everyone seems to be finding someone, either that or going through a nasty break up. And it makes me think... what am I going to do? I realize having a boyfriend isn't everything I'm supposed to live for, but I don't know. The only guy I'm really liking right now has a girlfriend and I'm always getting the feeling he doesn't really want to get close to me, not because he doesn't like me, i'm sure he has SOME feelings for me, but because he doesn't want to hurt me again. Because last time he did and he felt really bad.. But it doesn't matter to me anymore and I don't want it to matter to him either... and I don't really know how to tell him that. There's also... Someone else I'd have a better chance with. Now, by saying this, I don't want everyone to get the impression that I'm doing all these guys at once, I have a little more dignity then that. But yeah, he told my one friend he was kind of interested.. But he's had a crush on another person for a while. So.. I don't really know what to do! help?
